Here They Go Again
by AddsTheWriter
Summary: They came back together so easily, as if nothing happened and nothing had changed. But they are different and they have separate lives. Yet they find themselves pushing for it work, whether it's right or not. Is it meant to be? Can something that goes against everything she had come to think be what was meant to be?
1. Chapter 1

_*** Finished one story to start another (not all that surprising, I suppose). Here's the first chapter to what I hope will continue! ***_

She rolled over, stretching her arms over her head as she tried to wake her tired body up. She could hear a small crack in her back and the same in her neck as she rolled it, before turning over to see the covers of the bed turned down and the person she was expecting to wake up to not there.

"Mmm." The small moan escaped her lips as she pushed herself up, some from the exhaustion she felt and some from just the thought of how she had spent her night. A small smile crept across her face thinking about it.

Olivia padded into the bathroom, grabbing what she had thrown off when there night started to cover her basically naked body.

She sighed contently. It had been years since she felt comfortable enough with someone to allow them to see her body, to see all of the scars. The marks that resembled the shapes of keys from William Lewis. The thin lines from smoldering hot coat hangers. From her rookie days she had a few scars that she had always been proud of; they showed how tough she was, that she could handle her job. But the newer damage had, for a long time, felt the exact opposite, as if they proved she wasn't meant to be protecting others when she couldn't keep herself safe in her own apartment. Now she felt as though she was shedding a layer and freeing herself from the shame that she had carried with her. A weight she almost hadn't realized she was carrying lifted every time he saw her uncovered.

Liv slid her teddy over her head and walked out of her bedroom.

"Look who finally decided to wake up."

Olivia smirked, trying her best not to laugh at him and make him think he was funnier than he already knew he was. That's what people didn't know, he was actually funny when he wasn't tackling perps or leaned over someone in interrogation.

"Maybe if we hadn't been up until one am, I wouldn't have needed all the extra rest."

He scoffed playfully. "I don't remember you complaining last night."

"Not complaining, just stating facts."

He shook his head at her, chuckling at her while simultaneously picturing the night that they had spent together. It wasn't what either of them thought was going to happen, but from the moment they admitted it to themselves, they knew it was meant to be.

She continued. "What are you making out here? I probably would still be asleep if it wasn't for the smell of bacon."

She tried to grab a piece from the plate next to the stove, but he smacked her hand away. "Go sit, I can bring it to you."

"Oh table service. I like it."

Before she sat down, Liv took a coffee mug and filled it with the steaming hot liquid. She settled into the chair at her table that gave her the best view of the man cooking her breakfast in her kitchen. He wore his pajama bottoms, but nothing on top and she could see his back and arm muscles flex slightly every time he moved and took all that she had not to tell him to forget breakfast and get back in bed with her.

"Could you stare a little harder there?" He caught her in his peripheral vision and could see the way her eyes followed his every movement.

"Probably not, but I could do a few other things."

"I'm not saying that I won't take you up on that offer, but let's eat first. Get our energy up and then we'll resume last night's activities."

"I guess you're right, I'm feeling a little tired after all that fun." She winked at him and he chuckled lightly.

He wasn't used to this side of her yet. They had spent a few nights together already and they were instantly comfortable with each other; they should be. They'd known each other for so long. But last night was the first time that he felt they both relaxed and let what was meant to be happen. It was like at first they weren't worried about each other, but about what others would say, what they would think, how they would react to knowing they were together. Last night felt like they had finally shed that feeling and they did what they wanted to do because it made them happy, whether people would understand or not.

Liv watched him stare at his plate of food, not touching it. "What are you thinking about over there?"

"How great last night was. And how it finally felt like it should."

"What do you mean like it should?"

"Just that we sort of let go of all of those things we talked about. Like other people and worrying about what we would do when someone finds out we're trying to make this work."

"I know I told you that I'm not ready for anyone to know, but I don't want that to be what you're thinking about every time we're together. We can enjoy each other without anyone else knowing. I don't want you to think that I want to hide this, okay? I just want to make sure that we are sure and that we think we can do this before everyone in our lives weigh in."

"I'm not blaming you, Liv. I understand where you're coming from. And I want you to be the one to dictate how this happening. You deserve that."

"I'm not going to dictate anything. This relationship just needs to be a two-way street where I can completely trust you."

He nodded. "I promise that I'm here to earn your trust and keep it."

The man leaned over the table and kissed her. She kissed him back, running a hand through his hair and placing her other on his toned chest. It felt exactly like she had always expected it to: comfortable, passionate, and exactly what she had been missing from all of her previous relationships.

"I could get…" But a knock on the door interrupted her sentence. "Shit. Is it already 10?"

They both looked to the clocks in the kitchen, each one on the microwave, stove, and hanging on the wall indicated that it was already a little after 10. Olivia hadn't even paid attention to how long she had stayed in bed, nor did she check when she walked out of the bedroom.

"You need to get back in the bedroom. I will come get you after she leaves."

"This feels like we're teenagers hiding from our parents."

"I think it would probably be easier to hide this from our parents, instead of my whole squad of detectives."

"I would have to agree." He grabbed his plate and headed back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Olivia walked to the door, stopping to look in the mirror in the hallway. She did her best to wipe away the mascara that was smudged under eyes and comb her fingers through her hair, making herself look as if she hadn't spent all night having sex with the man of her dreams, but also sometimes her nightmares. She did a once over and sighed at how little her efforts did to help.

"Hey Amanda." She said when she opened the door.

"Mama!" Noah hugged her legs.

"I'm not early am I?" Amanda asked, referring to the attire of her lieutenant. The silk, spaghetti strapped night gown just barely made it mid-way to Liv's knees and the blonde knew what that meant.

Liv looked down embarrassingly; she hadn't even given a single thought to what she was wearing, or the lack of clothing that she was wearing. "Oh no, no. I just uh… I slept a little later than I expected too. Stayed up too late last night."

Amanda nodded, not wanting to push her for answer. They were both adults, she knew what had happened and it wasn't her place to judge. If Olivia had someone who was making her happy, that was her business.

"Was he okay?" Liv tried to change the subject.

"He was great." Amanda smiled. "Jesse loves having him over to follow around and he plays so well with her."

"I'm glad to hear it. Next time, it's my turn to return the favor. I'd love to take Jesse and give you a night off."

"I'll have to take you up on that. Maybe next weekend?"

"Sure! We'll talk about it, but I'd be more than happy to. And I'm sure Noah would like to have her over, wouldn't you bud?"

Noah looked up at her, grinning. "Yeah!"

"Great. Well I'll let you go." Amanda had a feeling that whatever had happened last night wasn't quite over yet.

"Thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Liv watched the blonde walk down the hall before she closed the door. She and Noah walked back into the apartment. He took his little Superman backpack off and dropped in on the floor in the living room, easily becoming distracted by one of the many toy trucks that were lined up on the floor. Every night he would "park" them so that when he got up in the morning they ready for him to play with. At first Olivia had been instant that they be put away, but she soon figured out that it wasn't a battle worth fighting over.

"You can come out now!" Liv shouted.

He opened the door just a crack and looked around playfully, pretending to make sure the coast was clear. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She said unamused.

"Hey buddy." He ruffled Noah's hair. "Did you have fun yesterday?"

Noah looked up from his truck. "Uhuh! Amanda let me help her with dinner and Jesse showed me her toys and we went to the park."

"Wow, that sounds great."

Liv smiled at their interaction. They had a rule right now that when Noah was home, there was no overnights. He had come over for dinner, Liv would put Noah to bed after they all played together, and from there they did what they wanted. But he was always gone before Noah woke up. She wanted to adjust slowly to having a man around her little boy. Noah needed to be her priority and he needed to be completely comfortable before anyone was spending the night and starting to become a part of his daily routine. She couldn't hurt him if someone came into his world too quickly and the disappeared, like before.

"Maybe, if mama says it's okay, we could go out for lunch today?" He looked to Olivia, Noah's eyes followed.

"I think we can make that happen." Liv agreed.

A couple of hours and many, many toy truck races around the living room later, they had finally made it out of the house. The fall sun shone on them as they walked down the somewhat quiet New York City streets. Noah held his hand and skipped alongside him. Anyone who saw them would have assumed that they were a happy little family, not a woman with an adopted son who was just starting to trust a man who had changed her world years before.

"What's that big building?" Noah pointed up.

He looked down and answered him, explaining what some other building were too for the little boy.

Olivia fell back, watching them walk in front of her. She always pictured her life with a husband and child. However, at a certain point in her life the vision of her future changed without her even realizing it because she had spent too long focused on her career and focused on not getting too close to her partners. Then she had ended up with Noah, her miracle baby and the light of her life. And then there had been this man, who reentered her life at the exact moment that she needed him to, even if she hadn't known it was what she needed.

"You keeping up back there?" He looked back to her.

She pulled herself from her thoughts. "Yeah I am."

Olivia stepped up and grabbed his hand. She squeezed is in reassurance that she was there and he squeezed back.

"Thanks for this."

"For what?"

"For being here, for last night, for everything that's happened."

"You're welcome." Elliot kissed her gently.

 _ *** Alright, so some of you may have already guessed who Olivia's mystery man was, but hopefully you were still interested. I have written a few EO things before, but I never really felt like they were great or that they were what I wanted them to be. I usually stray away from them being romantically involved, however, something just made me want to write them together and to explore how they got back together and how they try to make it work with the squad, with Elliot's family, and with Olivia being a mom. Now, leave me your reviews (pretty please) and let me know if you think this is at all worth continuing. ***_


	2. Chapter 2

_*** Chapter 2! Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites after the first chapter. I hope everyone continues to read and maybe you'll join this story if you're just reading for the first time. ***_

"So dad, what have you been up to?" Maureen Stabler, now Anderson after she married her high school sweetheart, sat across from her dad at his kitchen island.

"What do you mean what have I been up to?" Elliot asked, cautious of what his daughter's intentions were.

"She means what have you been doing lately? Is that such a hard question to answer?" Now it was Kathleen asking the questions.

"And it seems a little suspicious answering a question with a question." Pushed Maureen.

Elliot looked between his two daughters. "Okay, first of all how do you know that it's suspicious to answer a question with a question? Did you two become cops in the last two weeks since I've seen you? And second, why are you both suddenly so curious about my life and what I'm doing?"

"You've been telling us that answering a question with a question is suspicious since we could talk dad. You know that."

Kathleen nodded in agreement with her sister. "We're always interested in your life dad. But lately it seems like you're happier."

"And it's wrong to be happy?"

"No it's great that you're happy, dad. You should be happy. You deserve to be happy. We just want to know why." Maureen sipped at her coffee, staring at him over the brim of the cup.

Elliot should have known that his daughters would be curious about what was going on with him. Since his divorce from their mom, his two oldest daughters had made it their job to ensure that their dad was happy and that he wasn't alone, which meant that he had gone on too many blind dates set up by them. Kathy had found someone rather quickly, sometimes Elliot thought that they had been together long before the divorce, so she didn't need her children to look after her or try to find her someone new. Elliot felt like in that way he drew the short end of the straw, even when he knew Maureen and Kathleen meant well, it wasn't always the greatest thing when he was sitting across from a strange woman for two hours he had nothing in common with.

"Look girls. I am happy, but I'm not really ready to share all the details."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that right at this very moment I need to keep some things to myself and make sure it's all going to work out before you, and the entire universe after you, knows everything."

"Are you implying that we don't keep very good secrets?"

"Yes." Elliot said.

"Oh come on, dad." Kathleen whined, reminding him of her teenage years. "We don't want the gross details, we just want maybe a name and an address so that we can stake her out."

Elliot laughed out loud. "You are getting neither of those."

"Wait, wait. No name? Does this mean she's somebody we know?" Maureen was getting too close for comfort. "It's got to be somebody we know if he won't even give a name. A name could be anybody if we don't know them, so he has to be hide it from us."

"That's a very good point. What if it's Olivia Benson after all these years?" Kathleen was giggling, joking completely.

But Elliot didn't think it was funny and he nearly choked on the coffee he had just sipped, the hot liquid causing him to gag. "That's… that's…"

"Dad are you okay?" Kathleen jumped up from her seat, not laughing anymore.

Eliot put a hand up, signaling that he was fine as he caught his breath. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Just don't joke about things like that? It's not funny."

Maureen and Kathleen shared a look. They knew that it was a somewhat sore subject and at first, after Elliot left the squad, it was a completely off limits topic. Kathleen had just assumed that after almost seven years suggesting the idea lightly wouldn't get to her father. But she had been wrong, which made her wonder why the wound still seemed so fresh.

"Sorry for mentioning it dad." She apologized.

Elliot sighed. "I overreacted a little okay?"

"You'll tell us eventually." Maureen accepted defeat. "Or we'll find out ourselves."

"They actually asked about me?" Olivia sounded like she was surprised, but she continued to unload the dishwasher.

"Not asked." Elliot said. "Kathleen actually suggested that I was dating you because I wouldn't give them a name or any other information."

This stopped Olivia in her tracks. "She suggested me? Have you said anything to them or have they seen my name on your phone or something? You don't really think that they would just wonder if we're together without some kind of hint do you?"

"Wait, so you're thinking I did something?" He shot back in defense.

Liv sighed. "I don't know."

This had been Olivia's one request when they had come back together, no one was supposed to know until they agreed they were ready and that they were going to be able to handle what was thrown at them for backlash from both her team and his family. It may have been a negative way to think, but they had a track record and both parties knew what Elliot had done to Liv. There was bound to be opinions from all sides whether they were said or felt.

"You don't know?"

"Just give me a second to process this, El, okay?"

"What is there to process?"

"Everything Elliot. They're going to find out and that scares me."

"Why is this so scary to you? They are my kids and they want to know what's going on with me. I know that you asked that we don't say anything yet, but they have to know something is happening and I can only hide it from them for so much longer now."

"You want to tell them?"

"Yeah I want to tell them. I want to do what you want and I want your complete trust back because that's the only way it's going to work. But I hate to lie to them."

"But they know what happened between us, they know how it ended, and they understand our relationship and what it did to your relationship with Kathy."

That was the first thing that Elliot had told her when he tracked her down. He had always loved her and while they had never done anything, this was something that always effected his marriage to Kathy. He couldn't ever love her like he had before because his mind was always on Olivia and what could have been if he hadn't become a father so young and married Kathy. He didn't want anyone to believe that he never loved his wife or that their marriage was because of a baby, but when it came down to their divorce, it had been coming since nineteen ninety-nine when his eyes first met his SVU partner.

"And you think that they're going to hold that against you?"

"You were there in that interrogation when Dickie asked if I had ever slept with you. You actually think that when you tell them what's happening now that they aren't going to have questions or they aren't going to judge us?"

Elliot rolled his eyes, as if what she was suggesting was ridiculous. "So what? We are all adults."

"This isn't a matter of all of us being adults, they aren't just our friends El. They're your kids. They are your whole world and the most important people in your life, they have every right to judge if they want. And that scares the shit out of me because as soon as they decide that this isn't right and that you're making a mistake, I'm out."

"You're out? You would give up that easily?"

"I would not be giving up." Olivia corrected him. "I would be doing what's best for your relationship with your kids even if you don't care how they feel."

"Don't care how they feel? Where is this coming from Olivia?"

She cringed at the sound of her whole name coming out of his mouth. She was his Liv, not Olivia and she knew that when he used her full name the mood of their conversation was changing drastically.

"I want this to work."

"Then let it work. Why are you all of sudden pulling back?"

"Because I was always the other woman El and sometimes I still feel that way when I look at you. I know that there is nothing stopping us now, I know that we aren't doing anything we shouldn't, but I just can't shake that feeling I lived with for twelve years. We go out and I still find myself looking over my shoulder for cops we know or anyone we know. And as soon as we tell your kids, I know that feeling is just going to get worse."

"So what you're saying is that this isn't what you want."

"No, I'm saying that I want this so badly and I want you so badly, that I can't hurt you or your kids."

Elliot took a deep breath. "Look Liv, I'm not still not sure what to tell you or why you're feeling like this. But I don't want to push you anymore okay?"

She watched as he brought his coffee cup to the sink rinsed it, put it in the dishwasher and walked out of the kitchen. He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair he had been sitting in and his phone from the table.

"You're leaving? Right now?"

"I don't want to argue with you and I don't want us to fight about this. I'm going to give you some space and let you think about all of this. I'm not saying anything to anyone yet, but just figure out what you want and how you want to do this."

"So now this is all on me?" Liv scoffed.

Elliot shook his head. "No, this is on both of us. We are both in this relationship, but if we keep doing this it's not going to end well. I'm not losing you over this or anything else. So I'm giving you the space you deserve."

"I don't know what else to say."

"Don't say anything else then. Just call me when you want to talk again."

Olivia watched him walk out her front door. She was confused, she was hurt, but most of all she didn't want him to leave. She was scared and she was wondering what had just happened and the only person she wanted was the man who had just left. How was she always so good at complicating things that should be so straight forward?

She slammed the cabinet door shut with a bang.

"Mama?" The sound of Noah's voice made her jump and she knew that he had seen her outburst.

"Hi baby. Did you have a good nap?"

He nodded at her, but his big brown eyes were filled with worry as he could sense that she was upset.

"How about mama calls Amanda and we see if they want to go to the park with us?"

Noah perked up at the sound of his friend's name. "Can I go on the swings and the slide?"

"Of course you can."

Olivia went in search of her phone. She knew that on their day off, Amanda would more than likely be happy to get out of the house with Jesse; they were both single moms, Liv knew what she was doing when she wasn't at the precinct. But she also needed something to take her mind off of Elliot and how much she had just screwed up.

"Hey Amanda. It's Liv. Are you and Jesse busy?"

The blonde had agreed almost instantly to meet with Olivia and Noah.

"Thanks for calling me." Amanda was saying as they walked out of the coffee shop near the playground, the first stop for both moms. "Jess needs to get out and run off some of the energy she has."

"Don't you wish you could keep up that way?"

"Every single day." Laughed Amanda.

The kids had been playing for over an hour and Liv and Amanda had spent most of that time talking about all kinds of things from baby lotion to their latest case. However, the whole time Amanda had felt like something was off, like Liv was trying to hide something.

"Is something going on Liv?"

Olivia, who's thoughts had been drifting to Elliot, looked at her. "What? Why do you ask that?"

"You just seem a little off."

"I just… I just have a lot on my mind I guess."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No I don't…" Liv stopped and thought for a second. "Actually maybe."

 _ *** Ooh is Liv going to tell Amanda right after she told Elliot not to say anything? We shall see and we shall also see what this means for EO. I'm not going to write this as some completely smooth ride because relationships don't work that way and I especially don't see Olivia and Elliot getting back together without a few struggles. And I will continue to reveal more of how and when they got back together. Please leave me all of your thoughts, criticisms, ideas, or whatever else in the reviews! ***_


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